Wednesday, May 16, 2012


Recently I cut my hair shorter than I ever have before. Although I keep my hair long most of the time, I have regularly cut it quite short (usually in the spring) and let it grow back out again throughout my life. But this time was different. This time I went to the shop with pictures, explained what I wanted and when I got home and the next morning still felt like they hadn’t listened, I returned and asked them to cut off those extra few inches they left on top. Now my hair is 2-3 inches long and I love it. LOVE IT.

Here’s the thing. I don’t say this to brag, but I have stunningly beautiful hair. Like, Disney princess beautiful. It’s thick, luscious, and when it’s long, my locks are the color of spun gold that strangers can’t resist touching. But it wasn’t working for me.

See, after a heart-shattering breakup this last winter I finally decided I was ready to venture out of my lonely grieving and start dating again. So I went out to what seemed the most logical of places: the local gay bar. Unfortunately, as seems to be my sorry lot in life, my first few attempts at lady wooing turned up nothing but drunk, straight men who stared at my breasts and offered to buy me drinks. In short: it sucked.

I felt like I was screaming for a woman to notice me on the inside, but that on the outside I just looked like another Mormon girl looking for her post-missionary husband. I decided that if I’m going to start attracting women in this region of the world, I needed to do something to make myself more obvious as a dyke.

I wouldn’t exactly call my new pixie cut butch, nor do I look even a little androgynous in my typical skirt and bosom-flattering tee, however, I am ten days into this haircut and I feel a sense of freedom like I have never felt before. For the first time in my life I feel like I’m invisible to some men. And, better still, I feel like some women are nicer to me, smile at me more, and even flirt with me when I least expect it. I don’t know what it is about Deseret that makes women with short hair “automatically” lesbians, but I’ve started working with the system instead of against it and things are looking up.

What about you, dear reader? Do you think people treat you differently depending on your haircut? Do you have short hair or long? Why do you prefer one or the other?

1 comment:

  1. Oh man, do I absolutely relate to this. I think it would be interesting to hear how you feel about your hair now, so many months later. I did the same thing, cut my hair short after an intense heartbreak. For a while, it made me happy. It helped make me feel more secure in my sexuality, women were more forward- I seemed to blip onto the gay radar more easily. But the short hair just didn't fit me. It's unruly and gets curly and took a lot of work when it was short, opposed to letting it cascade about and do what it will when it's long. After 6-10 months of keeping it up, I let it grow out, and now suits my facial structure, I can play with it, and I adore it.

    Am I more invisible? Yes and no. Yes in routine interactions, but in conversations I feel like my eye contact and body language more than makes up for my handfuls of hair.